Parthenogenesis
by kalirush
Summary: The TARDIS breaks- Jack and the Doctor have to find a new part.


Two men ran through the night, dodging trees. They ran with an easy grace- leaping over things that needed to be leaped, dodging things that needed to be dodged. They were nearly silent as they ran, and the forest welcomed them like a mother.

"Ow!" yelped the Doctor, as a tree branch hit him full in the face.

"Clumsy, clumsy," whispered Jack, looking down at the Doctor- who was now lying on his back, rubbing his forehead. "Could you keep it down, though? We are supposed to be trying for a bit of secrecy here."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Just give me a hand up, will you?" he answered.

Jack held out his hand. "Where are we?" he asked. "You've gotten us lost again, haven't you?" he added, suspiciously.

Upright again, the Doctor brushed off his coat. "We're not lost. I know exactly where we are."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I knew it- that just confirms it. We're lost."

"What d'you mean, we're lost? I told you, I know exactly where we are!" The Doctor looked sideways over at Jack, irritated. "Well, if I didn't have that stupid coat flapping in my face, it'd be a sight easier to navigate," he grumbled.

"Oh, ho!" Jack hooted. "You're blaming my coat now?" He opened his wrist computer and began walking around the grove, trying to orient himself.

"Are you done yet?" said the Doctor with an air of aggrieved patience. "Because I think we need to be getting on."

"That way," pointed Jack.

The Doctor gathered his wounded Time Lord dignity. "Yeah," he said, "I knew that."

"Sure, you did, Doc," drawled Jack, as they headed off into the woods again.

_An hour previous:_

They'd crash landed. Which wasn't out of the usual, really. Jack and Rose pulled themselves off of the floor, laughing. The Doctor, however, ran to the console, hissing under his breath. Sparks flew, and there was smoke, and the Doctor sprayed the console with the fire extinguisher and came back to his companions looking glum.

"We burnt out the nonlinear flux stabilizer. Total junk now, and she won't fly without one."

"So, how bad is this?" Jack asked. "Are we going to be able to pick up a new one- or at least the bits we'd need to jury-rig one?"

The Doctor looked at the monitor, and a dark look passed over his face. "We're on Adiphol 6," he said. "Boronian Era."

Jack sucked in his breath. "Well, that's not ideal."

Rose crossed her arms, irritated. "Right. Are the two of you going to keep up the doom and gloom act all day, or d'you mind explainin'? What's wrong with this Adiphol place? Are we stuck?"

Jack smiled, and shook his head. "No, no- nothing like that. Given that the Doctor's right about where and when we are (_Oi!_), then they ought to have enough of a technological civilization to get us what we need."

"Then, what's the matter?" Rose raised her eyebrows.

Jack looked to the Doctor. "Doc?" he said, letting him explain.

"Yeah. Um, the locals here reproduce primarily by parthenogenesis," the Doctor said, looking slightly embarrassed. "It's actually quite rare, among sentient species."

"Which, for the girl who hasn't got her A-Levels, means what?"

"They've only got one sex, is the thing. They are a bit hermaphroditic, so they do occasionally swap genes. But by and large, when they want to get pregnant, they just clone themselves, right in their own bodies. Voila, new you, no messy sex involved."

"What the Doctor's not mentioning," Jack put in drily, "is that they also have this huge cultural bias against sexual species. They consider having more than one gender to be completely disgusting- not to mention religiously taboo- and they're liable to toss us in an incinerator to mollify their offended sensibilities."

Rose bit her lip. "Yeah, I can see where that'd be a problem. So, what d'we do? Um, disguises? Oh- or a sneak raid?"

"What we do," said the Doctor, stepping away from the console, "is, Jack and me find a nearby town, and you stay here. Good thing is,since most of the universe avoids this planet, they're a bit ignorant of xenobiology. We might be able to pass for unisexuals."

She'd argued a bit about being left behind, but she wasn't stupid. In the end, she'd stayed in the TARDIS, and the Doctor and Jack'd headed into the night, hoping to get in and out with the part they needed and without drawing too much notice.

The Doctor stopped them just outside the Adipholonian town. Jack could see the dim glow of the lights just over the rise. "What's up, Doctor?" Jack asked. "Why are we stopping?"

The Doctor unslung the bag he'd been carrying. "Skin out of your coat," he said, absently, rooting around.

"Why, Doctor," said Jack with a wink, "you only had to ask. Anything else you'd like me to take off, while I'm at it?" He folded his coat up, and waited expectantly.

"The coat'll be fine, thanks," the Doctor answered, dryly. He pulled a heap of fabric out of his bag. "Put this on instead," he said, as he tossed it to Jack.

Jack caught it and shook it out. It was a saffron-colored robe, with short sleeves, a high collar, and shiny piping around the shoulders. "We're playing dress-up now?"

"They favor robes in this period, if I remember right," the Doctor said, shortly. "Thought it might help us blend in, since that was the idea. You can be proud- you just became a High Elder."

"Of where?" asked Jack, dubiously, as he pulled the robe on over his clothes. "On second thought, never mind. I don't think I want to know."

The Doctor fished through the bin, looking for the right parts. The shopkeeper cowered behind his table, goggling at them. He looked as though he couldn't decide whether to start up a conversation or run for help.

"How can you see what you're looking for, with the lights like this?" asked Jack, waving vaguely around him. The shop was lit with the very dim glow of lights that mostly radiated on spectra the human eye is ill-equipped to pick up.

The locals, in addition to their reproductive peculiarities, were also nocturnal. In fact, they'd arrived in the middle of planetary night, only to find the streets full for the lunch rush. At least the Doctor'd got the bit about robes right- they were clearly the wrong species, but you did have to look twice before realizing they didn't belong.

They'd ducked around, trying to stay out of sight, until the Doctor'd found a store that sold electronics. He'd ignored all the shiny new components at the front of the store and gone rooting through the spare parts bins at the back.

"Just because you've got weak little eyes doesn't mean the rest of us do," the Doctor said, his face straight, but a smile in his voice. "I'll have you know that the lighting in here is quite bright and cheerful, if you can see in the ultraviolet range. Which, just for the record, I can."

"Well, good for you," Jack said. "Now, is there any chance you've found the parts you need? Because the shopkeeper just left, and I've got a good idea we might want to get out of here before he gets back. I don't think they're going to buy our story."

The Doctor looked up, frowning, and then went back to rummaging in the bins- perhaps with a bit more urgency. Jack looked at the Doctor nervously, and went to the windows.

"Doctor?" he said, after a few minutes. "I hope you've got what you needed." Just then, the door burst open, and a mob of angry Adipholonians stomped into the room.

Twenty minutes later, they were back in the woods. Jack was hopping along furiously, one arm slung over the Doctor's shoulder for support.

"I could have told you that trying to kickbox the locals would be a bad idea," the Doctor told Jack, smugly.

"Yeah, well, now you tell me," gasped Jack. "Could we stop a minute? I think we lost them."

The Doctor gently lowered Jack onto the ground. "Let's have a look," he said, pulling up Jack's robe. The pant leg underneath was gory with blood, and there was white bone poking up through the torn fabric. "Broken," he said, scanning the wound with his screwdriver.

"Really? Do you think?," said Jack, sarcastically. "Is there anything you can do about it, with that 'totally sonic' screwdriver of yours?"

"Useful for something other than putting up shelves now, is it?" snapped the Doctor. He shook his head, and continued in a calmer voice. "As it happens, the break is too severe. That bloke- er, person- nearly twisted it off. The bone's in bits, and it's not properly aligned. I'll need the TARDIS to put you right."

"But you got the parts, right? We'll be able to get out of here?"

"Yeah," answered the Doctor. "Should be fine. But we'd best clear out of here before they come looking."

"Is there anything you can do for the leg? Er- splint it, or tie it on, or something? I don't fancy having it fall off in the middle of the woods." Jack had gone a little pale, and his skin was clammier than the Doctor would have liked.

"Right," the Doctor said, "should be able to fix you up something." He went looking around for sticks. It took him a few minutes to find some long enough to cover Jack's long legs- the broken bone, the knee, and the ankle. He pulled off his own robe and ripped it up into strips to tie the splint on.

"Good knots," Jack commented, weakly. He winked. "You look experienced."

"Yeah, well- I am. Nine centuries gives you time to be experienced in a lot of things." The Doctor checked his knots. "Time to get going. We'll have the mobs on us in a moment if we don't move."

Jack levered himself up on his good leg, reaching for the Doctor. The Doctor hoisted him up to his feet (foot, really), and wrapped Jack's arm around his shoulder. "Good?" he asked.

"As much as I'm going to be," Jack answered, and pushed forward. "Nine centuries?" he asked.

"Yeah," said the Doctor, as they moved slowly through the darkness. "That a problem?"

"Naw," said Jack. "Older men and that. Looks good on you." His mouth curled up in a half-smile.

They moved through the forest in silence for a while. The Doctor suddenly noticed that Jack's grip on him had gone a bit loose. "Jack?" he said, turning to look at his companion. The lower part of Jack's robe was soaked in dark blood, and his eyes were closed. "Jack!"

"Mm?" Jack opened his eyes, weakly. "Sorry, Doc. We almost there?" His voice was very soft. "I feel a bit dizzy."

The Doctor hoisted Jack up again, taking more of his weight. "Yeah," he said, cheerfully, "almost there. Come on- no rest for the wicked, Jack. And that's got to apply to you."

"Yeah, Doc," Jack said, his head lolling to one side. "Guess it would have to. I ever tell you about the time I met that troupe of Farissian nuns?" he chuckled weakly.

"No, you didn't, as a matter of fact. Why don't you tell me about it now?" The Doctor felt it best to keep Jack talking.

The story Jack told was incredibly obscene, very funny, and- in the Doctor's opinion- highly improbable. The Doctor pushed open the door to the TARDIS. "Rose?" he called.

Rose jumped up, taking in the sight of a pale, weak and bloody Jack. "What the hell did you do to him, Doctor?" she snapped, as she ran to them.

"Me?" protested the Doctor. "Nothing! He did it to himself. Now take him, get him laid down, and I'll bring the med equipment."

"Don't worry, Rose... Doc'll take care of me," said Jack, in a faraway voice. "Mm. Nice to see you." Rose helped him down onto the floor of the console room, putting his head in her lap. "That's nice."

"Yeah?" Rose asked.

"Yeah," Jack answered. "Good to be out of the dark."


End file.
